Hi Love,
Are you frustrated by procrastination?
I hear you and understand just how frustrating it can be, the isolation it can cause, and the sensation of defeat. The seductive loop is overwhelming at best, and brings a certain air of inner angst.
I was a runner and got off on completing things in disguise.
I never quite set goals, rather would show up to others finish lines to awe and bedazzle them into deciding that I was strong in my work ethic, and a contender in any race. Setting goals felt vulnerable to me, because I felt unsafe navigating anything that resembled stability.
It’s not a mindset issue - it’s unresolved trauma.
We often think of trauma as big catalysts, which it most certainly can be. Trauma can also look like compounded, emotional hits you gathered throughout your time in corporate world, relationships, or on-going family dynamics.
Procrastination, much like the sensation of urgency are both symptoms of escapism; symptoms of deprivation.
Punishing yourself by over analyzing your “how come” is further adding to the oh so seductive sensation of escapism. The invitation is to lean in; to navigate the inner work necessary to walk beside the way you are choosing to hold the trauma inside of you.
From there your intellect has the bandwidth to greet you with curiosity, your body welcomes you, and your emotions soothe you.
The only way out is through.
Dare to be radically honest with yourself and ask:
What about withholding am I loving?
You have the right to your process.
You have the right to see yourself through the lens of complete compassion as you discover empowering ways of relating to yourself and your experiences.
xo,
Jen