Mastering YOU in Relationships

This is not a “how to,” but rather an invitation to consider that we are the authority of our lives, an invitation to consider another way of being. To exploring and restructuring the biggest relationship of all, the one we hold with ourselves.

Often saying no to our desires when we really want to say yes, we seem to have mastered the art of actively limiting ourselves. Telling it how it is versus how we want it to be, because surely that will buy sympathy - behaviors lending to a mad search and rescue crusade, I am sure! 

Let's do a little activity...

Find yourself sitting next to a desk or table lamp that is turned off.

Bring your contemplations, all of your fears and self-doubt, too. You know the gremlin laundry list of, "this will never work..I have too much to do...I'm tired...I'm meant to be alone." 

When you are ready, close your eyes, and hear yourself silently state the intention, " I want to feel good."

When you state your intention of wanting to feel good, what do you notice?

What do you feel inside of you? Where do you feel the ignition?

Now, state your intention out loud, "I want to feel good!" Go ahead and give it a little vocal muscle, some conviction and when you are ready, turn on the light.

Do you feel it, the ignition, the shift of energy?

YOU are the switch to your light, the switch to your ignition. YOU are the foundation, the security and the Love you are seeking. When we consider that Love is already here in side and all around us, we open a very important door-our gateway to personal freedom. Knowing that the love we seek is already inside of us, our task then becomes more about dissolving our barriers and walls keeping us from fully embracing the sweetness Love brings. We are the switches to our lights

Relationships are not reason enough for us to loose ourselves, taking care of ourselves is the discipline. Relationships have the potential to serve as soul growth partnerships. Beautiful platforms for us to becoming even clearer about who we are, what our purpose is and how to best align, while in the loving presence of another.  

It’s hard for us to see potential when we come to a relationship with a bucket full of fear, doubt, worry, stress, and guard- in those moments we choose to come into our relationships empty, asking for another to do the filling. 

Committing to our selves is a discipline of practice, a practice of applying Love. Consider coming to a relationship with your emotional, physical, mental and spiritual tank chalked full with your tender love and care, then all else simply becomes juicy overflow. 

The feeling of emotional intimacy, closeness and vulnerability becomes the potential of any relationship you choose to enter, because you are coming into the space connected, open, honest, available, and full.

Lets get good n' honest

It's hard to know what we are working with when we are holding firm onto our positions of how we feel wronged by our past or how robbed of peace and happiness we project out onto our future. Regardless of how wronged you feel, consider that anytime you catch yourself saying "I'm upset because..." your school is in session! 

What are the judgments?

Spend a week, a day, ten minutes, journal the judgments without judging. Write them out. Notice how you feel when those come forward, notice where you feel it in your body, the mood that comes forward, any desires or withdrawals.

Just notice and stay open.

Shift into your power

Your judgments and mis-beliefs are the gateway to personal freedom.

Find their match.

With each judgment laid out- get intimate. Allowing the energy that the judgment rides on, whether it be fear, anxiousness or instability-let it come to the surface. Truly hold yourself in this sacred space. When you are ready find their match point- speak it. Honesty is the best policy and truth brings freedom. A belief I held in the past often mirrored something along the lines of, "love is so hard.." this of course continued to bring tough love towards me. When in reality, the truth is love is easy, open, honesty, close and beautiful, the stories I built for protection kept in a place of not only holding dooms day love thoughts but also experiencing dooms day-continuously! When you shift by pivoting your focus onto what you want to experience in your life, versus what you don’t want - life has a chance to shift, too. 

Hold yourself in love, with kid loves, offering Self forgiveness for holding onto the judgments, for buying into the misbeliefs. Let’s aspire to be the best version of ourselves, but if we spend our time slamming ourselves we will only feel further pain and disconnection. 

Attitude of Gratitude

Within my continuing journey in Self acceptance, I am aware of how everything in my life conspires to serve me for my growth, because my intention is clear: I want to feel good.

Practicing gratitude is a discipline that has dramatically shifted the experience of myself in relationships, consequently impacting my relationships.

Knowing that what you think about expands, I cannot help but piece together that I feel really good when I am in a place of gratitude versus when I am in a place chronic distress and dissatisfaction about my life. Said in another way, allow yourself to actively seek and share what is feeling good, and you will have more of it- it’s the Universal Law of Attraction.

Choosing to see challenges as opportunities and upset as routes to peace, our horizon changes. Gratitude expands our hearts, exploding us into new possibilities, deepening our capacity of intimacy and trust.

Spend time each day for the next 30 days speaking out at least 5 statements of gratitude and you will experience drastic changes in your life. Spend time each day in appreciation for yourself, for your preciousness, your kind heart, your willingness to show up as YOU- and you will find your Self in the center of each and every relationship- full.

The truth is we are all meant for a beautiful life, a life where we support ourselves in keeping our lights bold and bright.



3 Ways to Shift Your Energy

Wishing that life was always, well, rainbows and sunshine, I realize that moving into and through my experience with depression is where I learn the most about myself. 

But, what do you do when you find yourself unable to move out of a depressive state? Heck, what do you do when what you really, truly feel like is shit? 

Change the way you are relating your experience.

I have found myself eager and ready for a change, a change much greater than atmospherical temperature. There was a heightened emphasis on wanting to plant the seeds of my life, seeds housing both my short and long term dreams. With just consideration, I found myself catapulted into an arena of, “I can’t, it won’t work out, I’m stuck, it’s too hard, it doesn’t make sense for me, why does everyone else have it?” Before I knew it, these very thoughts began to sprout in my mind, impacting my physical health, my emotional presence, consequently impact my life. I found myself wanting to relate only my hardships, I suppose looking for an exit strategy. But, the truth is, the way I was choosing to relay my experience was causing me more pain and suffering in return. The truth is, the more I sung the song of a victim to the circumstances of my life, the more stuck and hopeless I felt, further increasing my sense of depression.

If we have freedom to share how hard we feel our life is, then we sure have the same freedom in sharing our opportunities and blessings. As a single mother, in the past I would feel suffocated by the responsibilities serving as the emotional and physical back bone for my children — this was my story and you can bet what I experienced in return was closed-ness, hardship between my ex and I, feelings of disconnection and resentment. Consciously making a choice to shift from “this is how hard it is,” to, “well, I can feel overwhelmed at times, but I am open to support, I am open to receiving,” changed my life. 

What are the changes you can make right now to move your energy forward?

Be your minds scientist.

Are you experiencing yourself as a coiled up tight rope, fully stretched out? Awesome! Then you are blessed with an opportunity to unravel, in becoming your minds scientist. 

I understand the hardness of feeling stuck, the discomfort and shame around having boughten into a misbelief that somehow life is meant to be experienced with suffering. Perhaps then, consider that there is another way of being, another way of existing. And, it is totally accessible! 

When a thought comes in, get curious, do your research, become the scientist of your mind.
When a thought leaves you feeling constricting with an achey chest, trust that it is neither supportive or your truth. However, when a thought comes in and you find yourself feeling expanded, feeling ignited, it is a supportive truth — it is a thought wanting to support you in rebalancing, in finding your center. 

The beautiful message in all we experience is, we are not what we think about ourselves! Feelings of uncertainty, depression and stuck-ness can in fact serve us as an opportunity to evaluate the judgments we are holding against ourselves. Ask questions. Is there a theme of thoughts coming forward? Are you noticing a patterning around when they are ramped up? Get curious with what it is you think your thoughts are trying to tell you. Give those deep seeds of insecurity, in feelings of unworthiness or fear around love a space to come forward. Once they are forward, you have the power to let the story supporting them go. Be curious, 

be intimate with your thoughts, with your rhythm. Go ahead, breathe and unwind your tight rope one coil at a time.

What’s stopping you from moving in a “beautiful life?”

The art of gratitude.

So many times I have found myself relaying an experience through the lens of dooms day, you know, this is how it is not working, what I don’t like about it, why I am mad, and of course ample room for how I am not responsible for my circumstance. A lifestyle of disappointment is firm breeding ground for feelings of depression. Relaying our experience through a lens of disappointment underneath conveys a deeper translation our wanting protection. When we expect disappointment in our lives, it becomes a comfortable way of being, a crutch. With low expectations, we can stay guarded, the risk of living feels good n’low. It is hard to let others in from a place of protection, lending an experience with life as exclusionary. Said in another way, I shut you out, and will lock myself in.

Practicing gratitude can serve as an antidote to minimizing experienced feelings with depression. As feelings of depression can feel suffocating, exhausting and cyclical, often a solo exclusionary process. Gratitude becomes the little sliver of hope in the dark. Practicing gratitude is an inclusive process saying, I am choosing to see the opportunities, the blessings in my life. I am choosing to lower my walls to have an experience with feeling good. Gratitude is the switch of light that is our personal game changer, allowing an experience with love. 

What is the most courageous loving thing you did?

Sometimes our stories become the wall that maintains the separation we are experiencing- serving as protection. The way through it is the willingness to let go of our stories, in surrendering. The message is: When you change inside, everything changes.


Creating the Life You Want

In the midst of an East Coast winter, I find myself put to the test, that is am I willing to truly walk my talk? Momentum comes and goes, with my faith expanding and contracting into my emotional roller coaster. In this time of hunkering down, I find myself wondering, what do I intend to cultivate, what do I want my life to feellike, and will I let myself have it?

Just like that, I am catapulted into a boiling pot of anxiety, doubt, fear, worry, curiosity, overwhelm and excitement. Just like that, the wheels are churning, feeding into my discomfort, at my own free-will. Awaiting to greet me in my simmer are self-judgments laced with misbeliefs of my value and worth. This is the moment where any small degree of stuck-ness in contemplation can in fact become a never ending cycle of shame based self-induced insanity. 

If living life is truly about picking yourself up no matter what and moving forward, then the precursor to jumping with both feet in is establishing what it is we are living for. The precursor asks for us to be mindful of the way we are relating to ourselves and our experience, because before we ask for the life we want, how we treat ourselves is our personal game changer in manifesting the life we dream.

Suspend the Dream
Our door to prosperity and abundance is always wide open, waiting for us to walk through, and yet, there we stand casting out all of our “I can’t, it won’t work, I won’t matter, it doesn’t make sense,” congesting our dream along the way. This is a negative fantasy based on past fears projected onto our future. Said in a different way, the thoughts of fear and worry we hold about manifesting our dreams is not our truth. They are just thoughts we are choosing to have based on unresolved past experiences. 

Allow for a moment to suspend your dream. 
Let it float on out, without putting the pressure of taking action, without adding the responsibility of seeing it through to fruition. Knowing that anything is possible, dreams too crave the space to spread out into the unknown. Dreaming is giving ourselves permission to play with our desires and life’s passions, dreaming is about believing.

What we say matters
Language becomes the blueprint to what we experience in our lives, a dialogue we have with ourselves, in thoughts we choose to have. Not only is it our ability to articulate and receive our truths, but our spoken and unspoken words hold the power to spiral our energetic vibration to the heavens or keep us locked in a dream of pain.

Language is our gateway into self-awareness, welcoming us to identify thoughts that expand us as truths, and thoughts which constrict as misbeliefs or judgements.

Bliss. Joy. Passion. Worthy. Love. Peace. Play. Desire. Whole. Truth. Lovable. Can. Soar.

Consider the thoughts we allow ourselves to have about ourselves can in fact be from a place of encouragement, endearment, trust, love and loyalty. We are the authority of our lives, fully capable of choosing to dissolve thoughts keeping us bound, while welcoming those whose origins reside in opening and support.

Match cant’s with cans, have tos to wants, don’t deserve to I am worthy, hopeless to hopeful and your life changes will be abound.

Letting Go
It’s hard letting go, I get it. It’s scary, it often doesn’t make sense, and is entirely uncomfortable as we find ourselves in a positioning of vulnerability. Are we willing to stand down from our position as being right, victimized, wronged, entitled? We have an opportunity to create space, for our delicate dream seeds to take flight and flourish. When we let go of our identification to a story embedded in hurt and pain, when we resolve an irrational fear with rational love, energetic space is created for something to come in. 

Letting go is working our inner process with honesty and integrity, in seeing choice in holding onto pain and hurt or allowing space enough for it to transform into a lesson of growth and opportunity. There is no right or wrong, good or bad, only thinking makes it so. 

This is about allowing our pain to go, surrendering, as we stand down from our position. With compassion in tow, it is okay to forgive ourselves and let go, because the truth is, we are all doing the best that we can. 

We, our entire beautiful, lovable selves, encompass what it is that is worth living life for. The passions that drive us, the desires of our hearts that keep us awake, keeps us moving forward. Discovering that we are all the sweetness of life, sets us up to wholeheartedly answer, what do I want to create?

Because after all, we are all meant for a beautiful life.

Saying Yes To Living Life

Living life — that is, being an active participant of living — in the past has been a consistently overwhelming, “I want to curl up in a ball under my bed” kind of experience. Life as I perceived it was full of unpredictable blows, a “I should be working harder” philosophy, and shoot, I’m contending with yet another broken heart.

With any new opportunity knocking at my door, I would catch myself thinking, What if it doesn’t work out? What if who I am is not good enough?

With a fire ignited, I realized I was afraid of living, I was afraid to not only discover who I was, but to live my life in accordance to my values. And life truly is one big experiment always wanting to draw us closer into the game, closer to the sweet spot illuminating peace.

Ask for what you want.
As I see it, if abundance and prosperity in the matters of the heart or finances, are available to some, they are most certainly available to all. There is no discrimination in who gets what and how more worthy others are then ourselves to receive. The truth is we are the ones responsible for the level of abundance, happiness and peace we experience in our lives, because we are simultaneously responsible for our projected caps and limitations. 

Let’s consider that if we are responsible for our caps then we are also responsible for creating a windfall of abundance and bliss. 

When energy and investment is on the line, allow yourself expend in a way that not only makes you feel good, but moves you closer to your desires. We know all to well, what living in a dream of Hell feels like, where we find ourselves unable to express ourselves, to speak the truths of who we are, so what would happen if in our experiment of living life, we flipped our train of thought and choose a different track?

What if, we allowed ourselves to play in a dream full of peace, expression and happiness, where we dared to show up as ourselves, no bells, whistles or masks, just ourselves? 

Living life is the ultimate experiment.
What are your passions? That is, what moves you, what ignites that little spark within you? 

Grab ahold of it and do more of that very thing, because it is hard to know what to ask for if we are unclear about who we are, about what makes us feel alive. 

Capitalizing on our passions puts us in a higher energetic frequency to receive, as our hearts burst wide open.

From the place of an open heart, visualize for yourself what it is that you want to create in your life. Map it out on chart paper, write it in a journal, sing it out loud — give the life you want to create a voice.

Are there areas you want to let go of, draining your energy, begging for release? 

However uncomfortable those commitments feel, the good news is that it’s a choice to have them apart of your life. Allow yourself to honestly assess your current state of energy expenditure, and without judgment, entertain what you would like to have apart of your life instead? What will offer positive deposits in your bank?

Now, as much as we want to look at others for being the reason why we cannot have the life we want, the truth is there is no other person more responsible for the outcome of our lives then ourselves. 

No one puts us in a bad mood, or stands in our way of becoming our greatest, we choose to have those negative thoughts, we choose to back down from our dreams, keeping our selves small in a very big world. 

Life is all in service for you, your growth, the expansions and contractions, all the catapults propelling you forward. Many doors are opening and closing, some supporting growth, others keeping us status quo and while some are wanting to keep us behind — but we always have a choice into which door we walk through. 

So, are you ready for the most powerful, enchanting, magic filled experience? 

This experience is called life, and it is entirely full of possibilities for you, you are powerful enough to create the life you want.

Take a risk and LIVE your life!

Winning in Our dreams

A dream is a rhythmic telling of lusted love in our yearnings for meaning. Easily caught in what we feel we lack, of where we are not, in love not called in, this negative fantasy becomes a self-perpetuating dream, our life’s song, that we are eager to awake from. 

Acknowledging that there is a deeper intention set by our hearts in service to remembering who we are, it is worth winning in our dreams, too. 

Love yourself even more when in judgment.
I often wonder what the purpose of judgment is, how it is that when I dare to live in accordance to my Heart, I also leave myself open to a whole slew of self-damning, super self-critical dialogue, that I actively engage, over and over. As though proving to myself how good I truly am at talking myself out of things, in believing that Love is not meant for me, in the successful negative fantasies. 

In the moments of judgment, Love for Self is lost, and replaced by limiting fear, doubt, anxiety, and worry — Love is stifled. In my relationships, I choose to surround myself with people who lift my spirit, who feed me energetically, and yet, in the private hours with myself, I engage myself with undermining, energy stealing, over controlling, limiting thoughts. This person, this thing, is a part of me — my shadow Self yearning for Love and acceptance.

The truth is, in the moments where I have awareness into my self-damning, limiting thoughts, those are the moments for me to summons Love. To damn myself for self-damning judgments seems to feed a perpetual cycle of self-induced insanity. Rather, in the moments where judgment is at our door step, welcome it in. The task is in holding close to the knowing that we are not our thoughts. Said in a different way, we are not what we tell ourselves that we are. In the moments where we feel the spin of judgment, welcome a breath.

In breath, fear and love cannot exist at the same time, in breath we actively choose to nourish ourselves from the inside out. Climbing the ladder from our thoughts and into our hearts. We are conditioned to live in accordance to anxiety, to a perceived toughness of life, to a never enough, work harder life style. This is the only place judgment can exist, the internal measuring stick is always waiting for us. Can you accept the part of yourself that has been conditioned, eagerly waiting to remind you of how poorly you are doing? Can you accept that this exists within you, but you do not have to be it? We do not have to prove it right, in fact, we just need to change the channel. 

Change your thoughts, change your life.
Perhaps, when we dare to look at the circumstances of our lives differently, the circumstances have space to change. When we choose to see the gift within each encounter, every heartbreak, any misfortune, of ourselves, we can see our silver lining. In discovering the underlying lesson, growth truly happens. As awareness to our thoughts deepens, we see the patterning of perpetuating negative fantasies, limiting any expansion into thoughts of positive outcome. Limiting my fantasies to those with predictable, see I told you it wouldn’t work out thoughts, was comfortable for me. It kept me in a place of predictability, emotional safety, even if it caused pain and suffering, there was comfort in my constant chest aches. A beautiful healer, Rachel Lang, once said, “Jen, the heart isn’t a place you think about living from... just be in your heart.” This message was profound for me, as I realized that I was searching for my heart, for my center, unable to acknowledge that it never left, I did.

Set the intention to leave your heart open no matter what, choosing to see all that comes your way as blessings all in service for something much better then you ever could imagine. Choose to win in your fantasies. The work isn’t that our dreams are too big, rather, it is us choosing to acknowledge our barriers and walls telling us that we are not worthy or good enough for our desires. The desire is our truth, it is a message from our hearts, lean into them. Trust that your message of passion is intention speaking to you. 

Are you willing to hear, see and act from the place of your heart? 

Daring to let our hearts lead us, bears the fruit of emotional freedom, of liberation. 

Personal freedom IS for you! 
When thoughts leave us feeling uncomfortable, upset, out of alignment, we have the power to choose a different thought. Because we all have the right to feel good! Any thought that expands you is a thought of truth, that which constricts you, is a thought based on fear, based on judgment.

If some of us have rights to a life full of personal freedom, then we all do — the sweetness is not limited to a select few. Money, sex, love, abundance — all are neutral concepts welcoming us in. We possess limiting misbeliefs and judgments around these terms, scripts many of us bought into when we were young children. Spend time acknowledging and bringing your awareness to these scripts, how are they serving you, can you let them go? Are you willing to commit to yourself, to dissolving the resistance keeping you from experiencing bliss?

The truth is, abundance is all around us, waiting for us to allow it into our lives. The truth is no one is left behind, rather we leave ourselves out. Consider that we have already won in our fantasies, the task is rather, in working our walls and barriers keeping us from basking in the deliciousness of victory. The task is in allowing Love to fill our voids, not fear.

The truth is, when we allow the belief of Love is inclusive to build, swell and grow, we gain momentum in courage to work our inner process with honesty and integrity. Allowing our selves to change our channel of thoughts, brings empowerment. With awareness to the notion that we in fact have complete dominion over our thoughts, we expand into action, gaining self-trust and self-respect. We are the gatekeepers to your personal freedom.

We are constantly in an engagement with life, it is in how we choose to relate to ourselves while we experience our reality that shapes us. Acknowledgement is a gateway to freedom, setting the brick work for emotional responsibility, for freedom. Nothing in life is either right or wrong, it is the judgments we cast out and onto ourselves that deem it as such. Loving ourselves through our experiences, accepting the humanness of ourselves and of those around us is the icing to our cake. 

Learning to let ourselves win in our fantasies, we are all doing the best that we can. Singing new songs of love, patience and truth — of living our hearts desires.

Stress is our gateway to peace

Stress, in one single word, a range of emotional ick is evoked.  The emotional umbrella of stress is the perfect storm of overwhelm, panic attacks, disconnection, worry, fear, doubt, self-sabotage, resistance, resentment, full out and wide open leaving no one behind.  Spend a day with stress and spend your waking and sleeping hours dipping in sharp chest pains, shortness of breath, preoccupation, headaches, and exhaustion.  A catalyst to a more peaceful existence is stress itself, it becomes our personal change agent.  

We create our thoughts

We all have stress, gnawing, taunting, pulling at us, propelling us into a vicious cycle of emotional pain.  Not only do we all have stress, but I choose to exert additional energy comparing my level of stress to others, catching myself saying, “what do they have to worry about, they’re not contending with _____!”  Holding myself higher on an undisclosed rank because I perceived myself as having more on my plate, my internal measuring stick clearly in action bringing to me heaps of emotional pain and suffering.  Equally gnawing was an awareness that stress in its entirety, did not change my situation of going through a divorce, raising two kids, earning my Master’s while birthing a business.  Thoughts provoking a sensation of stress, compounded my experience, ultimately, attracting more scarcity into my life.  I was creating stress by keeping thoughts rooted in overwhelm, instead of giving myself space to asses my situation.  In addition any action other than “plowing through” I judged myself as weak, because it somehow meant I wasn’t doing it right.  Branching off a fear of committing to goals, relationships, love, friendships, was an emerging foundation in thought supporting my emotional hopelessness, feeding my overwhelm in stress.  Heightened sensitivities, further isolation, disconnection, lack of faith, aloneness, became the commitment I was making.  Emotional responsibility comes when we realize that no one is dictating our provoking thoughts, we take it on all on our own.  Stories of “why is our life so hard?” become open invitations to stress as our co-pilots.  If we have the power to create thoughts of stress, then we have the power to create thoughts of peace.

Set an intention to feel good, welcome an attitude change.  We may have little power to change what is unfolding, but we have complete authority as to how we choose to think about the series of events in our life’s and how we relate to ourselves while experiencing. Choosing to see our stressors in a different light may not make the reality of their consequences lesser, but it allows us to keep our heads up high, moving forward toward versus further entrenchment in the “can’t, it’s not for me, no use.”  Changing the way we think about experiences and events in our life’s leaves us vibrating a higher frequency destined to attract situations of abundance.  Our thoughts are ours and ours alone, choose happy.  Consider that all we experience is in service to us, our growth and expansion, intend to feel good, selecting a thought paradigm in support of your intention and you have won your megabucks.  We are students in this game called Life.  When a thought comes creeping in, leaving you in a state of overwhelm and upset, make the choice to think a different thought about that very thing.  Again, it may not change the situation, but it keeps us open and available to receive all those magical synchronicitic moments, designed just for us.  We see them much clearer when we are not faced down in the muck. 

Release the Judge

There is a secret lurking about, stating a profound truth: you are not your thoughts.  Exciting right!  We are not what the self-critical, self-damning voice inside persistently says we are.  The voice never misses a beat, an inner commentary suggesting to you, “give up, who are you to want to feel good, it’s too scary.”  This part of us residing as the judge does not rule the roost, there is a different way being.  Perhaps, the judger part of ourselves is desperate too for acceptance, to feel loved.  Listen for the underlying message from the voice, what are the fears, worries, doubts really trying to say?  Have you ever noticed that our self-judging tendencies seem to ramp up when we have made a decision, beginning to put ourselves into motion?  A once infused with enthusiasm outlook, working towards our goals, embarking on our own growth to happiness, can quickly become laced with self-judgement and self-criticism.  The judger represents the part of us that is scared, contributing to stress as a means of distraction.  Let the judge be the very thing that encourages your commitment in pursuit of emotional freedom, in experiencing peace.  Love that very part of yourself inclined to self-damn and criticize, release any attachment.  We are not our thoughts of critic and self-damning, however those characters play out inside of us, because the truth is we are learning the art of choosing happy, learning how to be in our Hearts.  To release our judge is to honor the intention of feeling good, thinking forward momentum thoughts, with perseverance.  Anticipate resistance, it will greet you, whether it be at step 1 or step 20, stay open and continue to move into and through.  Accept, for acceptance is loving that very part of ourselves wanting to judge and convict.  Offer forgiveness, because the truth is there is no right way of doing things, there is only a way chosen.  Each choice has an outcome with consequences, nothing more and nothing less, we are all doing the best that we can.    

Breathing is not just for yogi’s

Breathing is a form of surrendering, it is a moment of letting go.  Moving us from the ego trap of intellect (the judge) into a softer, gentler Heart way of approaching life.  It is where we allow access to emotions that may be propelling old thought patterning to come forward for release, it is how we move through stress.  Consider stress as a feedback mechanism, versus a representation of our life.  If you have to choose to identify, identify with wanting to feel good, with that part wanting to learn a different way of relating to our reality and ourselves.  

Intellect can quickly become a trap for an appearance by our star judge- quick to replace confidence with fear, courage with doubt.  This is not a preach for meditation, rather a soap box for breathing.  Just do it!  

With an intention of feeling good set in motion, let’s move our bodies.  Sing, to release the energy blocked in our throats- what do you have to say that maybe you are not saying?  What do you need to hear that perhaps you are not receptive to?  Write it out, what is your experience with stress bringing up for you?  Perhaps, there are deeper rooted feelings of inadequacy or scarcitypropelling you into a triggered stress response.  Begin to notice the sharpness of pain when in shallow breaths and when in full.  If there is resistance to breathing, just acknowledge it with a warm smile, no judgement necessary.  Remind yourself that you are just breathing, breaths that are full and deep, taking small, consistent action steps forward towards your goals.  Accepting the part within tempted to dip into the barrel of stress, because the truth is we are all learning how to co-exist with peace as our co-pilot.  The truth is we are all remembering how to be again.

Stress is our inspiration to change, it reminds us of an easier, gentler way to go about life, eliciting an infectious enthusiasm.  We are not stress, and it is not us, it is what we have chosen to create with our power of manifestation.  Nothing is neither right or wrong, only thinking makes it so.  Nothing is either stressful or not, it is the way we choose to label it and ourselves that it then becomes something.  Thoughts have power to create and evoke wonderful magic, attracting all that supports us.  They also hold the power to create disconnection, aloneness, apathy, stress is our personal inspiration to change the way we think about our reality.  As Dr. Wayne Dyer so beautifully stated, “you create your thoughts, your thoughts create your intentions, your intentions create you reality.” 

What will you choose to create?

Learning to Let Love In

Navigating the world as an empath has proven to be trying, confusing, raw, and vulnerable.  As a little girl, I distinctly remember feeling “energetic pulses” around me, finely tuning a knowing of what others precisely needed to feel safe and sound.   A false safety emerged in serving as a caretaker, as I exuded limitless boundaries in my giving.  I perpetuated a self-fulfilling prophecy designed to superficially satisfy a yearning to belong.  A sense of belonging based on the contingency that the more others needed me, the greater value and worthiness of love I felt, I was continually earning placement.  Living my prophecy, I bought into a misbelief that my oversized, endearing heart was wrong, inadequate, weak and too naive to contend with perceived harshness of the world.  As a form of protection, I built intimate walls, one brick at a time, to close myself in and others out.  I decided, my authentic self was not worthy of sharing, my truths proven insignificant.  I served as a conduit for others, until I physically weighed with anxiety, consuming symptoms of depression, and an inability to get out of my own way.  A catalyst for my awakening was brought into my life, a catalyst bearing lessons. 

Leave Your Heart Open

In the midst of my self-righteous position, littered with entitled anger surrounding the terms of my marriages dissolve, I decided my heart was in lock down.  This was the proof I needed,  I was too hard to Love.  Armor consisting of walls, along side a belief that, “love was not meant for me,” soon filled my everyday experiences.  An on purpose, synchronistic message from a beautiful shaman said, “Jen, the heart is never worth closing for anyone or anything.”  As I reluctantly agreed, I consciously choose to stand down from my self-righteous position.  I realized by living in accordance to a locked down heart, I was simultaneously locking myself in.  I was isolating myself from experiencing my beautiful dance of life.  Chance leaving your heart open, as it continually guides you through new beginnings, deepening connections and expansion into your desires.  Dare to soften your walls, careful to summons healthful boundaries.  Liberate yourself from your chains, as you feel into vulnerability.  All of life is an experience abound with opportunities to grow.  Choose to experience through the eyes of your heart. 

Express Gratitude

 In the grit and grind of life, gratitude has brought in more of the sweet stuff, by celebrating everything.  When I dared to appreciate the gift that I am, including circumstances of my life, I discovered an undeniable sweetness.  I had won the megabucks.  Abandonment became a gift of emotional abandonment, scarcity became a gift of financial independence, rainy days became gifted self-reflection moments.  By relating to myself and my “what-is” with utmost gratitude, I found the least invasive way to drop into my authentic self. I was consequently healing an old wound claiming that I was too much to love, that my oversized, endearing heart was too much.  Gratitude births possibility, as it supports emotional intimacy where trust is nurtured.  In sharing gratitude towards another, it lovingly communicates, “I value you,” jointly filling hearts with joy.  A simple act in extension of appreciation has the power to attract more of what you desire into your life.  Speak more of what feels good and right, share in appreciation for another, for your self.  More of that very thing will come back to you, it is the gift of karma.  Shedding the persona of how I perceived to be shut out, I see the world as an offering of opportunities and lessons.   A world that I belong in, because I am on purpose. 

Choose Yourself

In the past, I struggled accepting my worthiness of Love. Waiting for someone to choose me, ultimately never able to prove my loveability.  The truth is, I needed to choose myself first.  There was an inner awareness lurking, pointing to the lineage of women in my family serving as caretakers, who suffered great emotional tolls.  With countless hours spent wondering if Love would ever find me, and in sitting with myself, it became evident, the Love I was seeking is so rich and alive in me. Who would've thought!  It is my responsibility to stay connected to that very part of me, committing to seeing, accepting, and Loving myself.  Taking time to ask, “how can I best nurture myself?,” is putting self-love into practice.  Mothering Self is an exercise of healthy boundaries, acknowledgment of an inner knowing, and actively working my inner process with honesty and integrity.  As a caretaker, I volunteered to take on others inner work, enabling them to stay in a role of victim to their life’s circumstances, ultimately leading to my feelings of burnout.  In choosing myself, a shift in paradigm presented itself, an inner realigning from caretaker to nurturer, from a sympathetic to empathetic presence.  Resolving guilt, there is an offering of establishing emotional boundaries, attunement to self before serving others, while offering others the dignity of their process.  No more searching or empty projections, I own that I am Love.  I trust that I know exactly what I need to feel safe and sound.    

Proceed with Patience

Relating to myself in a loving, gentle way has brought forth a smile shinning from the inside out.  In proceeding with patience, I resolved the misbelief that I knew how to relate to others, but not with my self.  I was unable to see me, surely not able to accept the gift that I am.  There is a delicacy in self-discovery requiring patience, gentleness and good old tender, love and care.  There are no express lanes when engaging a journey Home, patience is the way through.  It reminds you that you are worthy of slowing down, allowing appreciation to blanket your evolution.  Patience offers compassion, as you digest a new way of being, a new way of existing with your self and the world around you.  Proceeding with breaths that are full and deep, fear has no place.  Slowing down welcomes a comfort you are worth.     


Experiencing my world intuitively, I shed the tendency to intellectualize feelings. Gracefully moving into full acceptance that I possess a deeper knowing.  No longer warranted, brick by brick, I dissolve a wall built for protection.  I confess, beautiful in my own right, I am an Empath learning how to let Love in.